If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
