Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
