it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
