Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
