Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
