White coat. Heels.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Randomize
