I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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