The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
