i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
