Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
