I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
