Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
