i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
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I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
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Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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