I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
