Tell her she can't have a vagina
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
