I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
