Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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