Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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