the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So many bounce houses so little time
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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