im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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