I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
