Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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