in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
