i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
