First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My bed smells like the plague
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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