Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need a beard to bite.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
