I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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