I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
