what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
