We're like a lot better than the average bears
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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