Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is Oprah even human
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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