Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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