Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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