My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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