I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
