i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
