HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
