I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
