I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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