nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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