I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize