my room smells like sperm. sweet.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
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I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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