After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
