dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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