you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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