I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
