So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i think im in europe. pls send help
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
