Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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