I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
