what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
