Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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