it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
