I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
These tits shall not be calmed
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
