I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
