I'm gonna have a badass scar
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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