im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
