He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
