ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
