Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
