i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We had to coat check the pizza.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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