Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
