U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
