I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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