Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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